We Started Daycare This Week

I have about a month until my maternity leave is over and I go back to work, so we started BBJ2's transition to daycare this week.

After much debate on nanny vs daycare centre vs at-home daycare, the boys will be attending a daycare centre (the same one that BBJ1 attended prior to BBJ2's birth), while I am at work.  The daycare is wonderful and I know that both the boys will be happy there, will make friends, learn to socialize, and will learn so much.  It will add about an hour to both ends of my commute, and it will be tough getting all 3 of us fed and ready and out the door, and it is not cheap, but I feel it is the best thing for my boys and therefore will hopefully tough it out.

Back at Work & OK

So I have been back at work for about a month, and was pleasantly surprised to find that I am quite happy being at work, but do feel guilty about feeling that way.

Prior to Baby being born, I thought that I would have a hard time being at home for a year, and thought that I would want to go back early.  Once Baby was born, I didn't think or care about work at all.  As my return date neared, I really dreaded going back and leaving Baby to be cared  for by others,  but for financial reasons there was no choice.

The hardest time was probably the few weeks prior to returning to the office when I was taking Baby to daycare to gradually get him used to it.  When I was out alone during those days, I felt like I was only half of myself.  I had gotten so used to him being with me all the time that I didn't feel whole without him.  When I realized this, it was really unnerving.  Who had I become that I wasn't o.k. by myself.  I am one of those people who like being alone, I have eaten in restaurants, gone to movies, travelled all by myself (I have gone to bars by myself, but I was always meeting someone so that doesn't count), and now I was feeling weird going to Starbucks or  Timmy's alone.  

Once I was back at work, I actually felt happier and less tired, although I am still tired, it is a different tired.  

Baby is doing great at daycare.  We were  really lucky that we were able to  get into a very good daycare not to far from home (2 subway stops & a 5 minute walk).  He really seems to like it there and amazingly he sleeps really well.  On the nights that he is at daycare he is down by 8 and stays down until around 5 in the morning.  Now, if only I could get to sleep earlier, although I would miss Husband if I went to bed earlier.

Another great thing is Husband has totally stepped up.  He is doing the mornings with Baby, giving him breakfast, getting him dressed and dropping him off at daycare so that I can get to work early enough to leave in time to get him from daycare.  Although it was hard last Saturday when Baby cried because Husband was going into work and leaving him alone with Mom.

So except for the guilt (which is slowing ebbing away), going back to work seems to be the best thing for our family.  Baby is happy, making friends, and learning tons of  stuff.  Husband is spending more time with Baby and their relationship is flourishing.  I am more content and a lot less frazzled.

Daycare Should Not Be This Hard to Find

I am supposed to be back at work in 7 weeks and we don't have day care for Baby yet.  I should be panicking but I am pretty relaxed about it, Husband however is not relaxed at all.

When I was pregnant a couple of people made comments about getting the unborn Baby on waiting lists for day care.  I thought they were joking.  They were not.  For the first bunch of months after Baby, there was no way I was doing anything other than keeping him alive so no day care searching.  The next bunch of months I was in denial about having to ever leave Baby, so of course I didn't do anything about day care.  

Reality finally did settle in and I started searching.  I went to the Provincial web site for child services and searched for licensed day care in our area.  I then created a spreadsheet to track the information and started calling.  Everywhere I called had waiting lists of one to two years.  I asked to be placed on the waiting lists.  I then started waiting.  Meanwhile, Husband kept bringing me names & phone numbers of home care givers that he was picking off of bulletin boards.  I didn't call any of them - I really wanted Baby in a Day Care, not in home care.  

A mom at the library group we go to advised me to visit/call frequently as she believed that if the Director likes you and has you top of mind, you might get bumped up the list.  So, I started re-calling all the places, checking our status on the list and requesting tours/interviews.  Bunches of places will only give tours once you have a placement otherwise they are spending all their time giving tours.  I did go to my number two choice day care and fell in love with them.  Baby was on his best behavior and was flirty and charming with the Director & staff and did not hit or bite any of the other babies as requested by me (I was thinking maybe they would love Baby so much that they would want him to have the next spot).

It is still looking like a long shot for the day cares, so I started to call agencies that manage home care providers.  It is a compromise, in that the agencies are licensed by the government and oversee the care providers, checking on them once a month plus doing things like background checks.   After my first visit/interview with a possible home care provider, I am thinking about trying to bribe the day care Director.  The lady was very nice, but I just feel that a day care will be a better option for Baby.  

We have another interview this afternoon, and regardless of what I think of this one, it will probably not be a valid option.  Husband is very uncomfortable with the neighborhood and doesn't want me and Baby in that area, especially at night.

Hopefully something will happen, hopefully I am feeling calm about this as some sort of omen that everything will work out to the best.  Maybe the calmness is a premonition that we will win the lottery this week-end and I won't need to go back to work, and Baby can stay home with mom where he really belongs.

Below are links to articles about the sorry state of day care in Canada:

http://www.cbc.ca/consumer/story/2009/02/06/f-daycare.html

http://www.todaysparent.com/behaviordevelopment/schoolage/article.jsp?content=20080215_115053_4716&page=1