Saturday, 29 January 2011

I need to give myself time-outs

So another week has gone by, thought I was doing much better but then lost it tonight. I saw something tonight that I assumed my husband had written and posted on FB and lost it, dropped him as a friend and then texted him. Turns out that the post was automatically generated by an app. This is not the first time over the last month or so that I cursed myself for moving too quickly when upset. I really need to implement some sort of timeout for myself before I text. Probably should stop texting too.

Leading up to this incident, the week felt like most weeks, did normal stuff with the boys, went to the park, ran errands, cleaned makeup off the toddler's face, changed diapers, fed the boys, etc. Only difference is husband is not here and I had a lot more company than usual. (the support hasn't stopped)

I went to my counseling session was o.k. It is really nice to talk to someone who does not have any history with me or my husband or our families. I don't feel like he is judging me or husband, which seems pretty rare. He also seemed to think that I am pretty pulled together considering, but warned that I could totally lose at any point in the future, now there is something to look forward to.

My mother-in-law came for a visit this week. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about it, but thought I would just see how it went before making any decisions on no in-laws or yes in-laws. It was o.k. I think that it was mostly o.k. because she was quite sympathetic to me and upset with her son. It was kind of boosting but at the same time a bit sad. It seems like the only people that my husband has on his side are his 'friends'. I'm not sure that these friends are true friends that will help him move forward in a mature healthy way. I could be wrong and I hope I am.

The boys are doing well. There have been moments this week when my toddler has been sad, hopefully this will fade. An amazing thing did happen this week, baby took a bottle from my mother while I was at my counseling session, this bodes well for my sanity.

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