Saturday, 18 May 2013

I Think it is Time to Start Up Again

Wow, it has been a long time, I have missed you Knackeredmama, you really helped me get through what was the hardest time in my life so far.  Many many times over the last year and a bit, I have wanted to talk, but it has not been my priority.  So, I am going to catch you up.

The boys are good, and beautiful and absolutely crazy and just oh so amazing.  BBJ1 is in junior kindergarten and really likes school.  They are in a different day-care, an in-home one close to the school.  They are at the park every morning with their day-care and love it.  BBJ1 sleeps well once he is asleep.  BBJ2 is a nightmare at bed-time, rarely asleep before 10pm.  They are energy vampires, leaving me exhausted by noon on Saturdays, but they fill my heart.

Work has been a lot, I have travelled a lot, averaging about a week (Sunday - Friday) each month.  The job has been stressful, but at the same time I am doing well and getting on.  My mom has stayed with the boys while I have been away.  It is kind of awesome, they have a pretty good relationship, they are closer than I ever was to my Grandmothers.  My mom is retired and I think spending so much time with 2 crazy little rug-rats is keeping her young.  It is hard though, they miss me tons when I am away, as soon as they know i will be going away they start acting badly.  It takes a week after I get home for them to be normal again.

Life has been a lot.  I feel like my life is a rat-race, there is no time for anything.  I am treading water all the time.  Tonight after I left the boys' room, I sat in my room for a few minutes going through e-mail (woohoo, exciting Saturday night eh?), when I walked out to the kitchen and looked through to the dining room, I almost went back to my room to hide, such a disaster.

The boys' father is not around at all, hasn't seen them for a year now.  While it angers me to no end that he isn't there for them, it also really makes things easier for me.

I have a new friend in my life, for about a year now.  The new friend makes me feel good, is very supportive, and is very good with my boys.  It turns out I am alive, and happy.

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