Monday, 30 May 2011

One Week Left

I am back in the office in a week.  So not ready.  BBJ1 starts his daycare transition today, so I have one week to do everything that is impossible to do with them, and one week to get my fucked up head in place, not feeling confident about the outcome.

There is a bunch of home stuff that I plan on doing, and even more that I would like to do, but won't/can't.  I'm planning on doing a thorough cleaning, cleaning the oven (hasn't been done in years), pulling out the fridge and cleaning under it, that type of stuff.  Plan on installing a blind in the boys room.  Need to sort through their clothes and move stuff to storage.  I had been planning on painting the boys room this week, but that won't happen because there is still some extra furniture in there that I can't paint around.

I need to pull together some sort of wardrobe for work, none of my work clothes are even close to fitting me.  I had expected that once I started my thyroid meds that I would gain back some weight but that hasn't happened.  Might end up doing some sewing to try and put some stuff together.

I need to put some space in my head to fill with work, but I don't know if I can.  This last week has been really tough in so many ways, with the boys, with money, but the worst is that I have been dwelling in anger, and sadness.  In some ways being on mat leave when my marriage crumbled was the worst timing (money & being alone with the boys 24/7), but at the same time if one day at 2pm I lost it, I could just sit on the floor in the kitchen and cry (I tried to limit this as I know it isn't great for the boys), but it is not ok to do that at work.

I'm hoping that I get lots done, but mostly hoping that the boys have a good week.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for your raw honesty in this post. Calming the emotional waterspout is you just never know when the next surge will hit. Head space magic exists but requires training. Keep focusing on the positive, turning your back to the negative and you'll get there.... You're doing great and I love you oh so much!