Finally he fell asleep in my hours for a couple of hours. Of course I don't even try to move him, because I really want him to sleep, even though I need to go to the washroom, the phone is ringing and not being answered because it is out of reach, and the dog is whining because it is his dinner/walk time. I am also thinking that it is so late for him to nap that tonight will be another late night.
After feeding and walking the dog, the baby graze nurses for a while and then he is happy, not just happy but giggling, laughing huge smiles happy.
So now I am happy, I feel lighter, more joyful, just down right better. This is what makes all the frustration and exhaustion worth it. It is the best feeling in the world to know that simply pretending to eat my son's hands will bring such joy to both him and I.
I don't often get the giggling. My husband can get baby to laugh and giggle so easily, while it takes so much more for me. It totally makes my day when I hear/see him so happy with his dad, but it is even better when it is the result of something that I do. I know that I shouldn't be jealous, but it is hard. I am alone with the baby for so long (12 hours a day, 5/6 days a week depending on husband's schedule), so I generally end up with much more of the bad moods than my husband gets.